Tiger Woods hates the Players Championship. He hates everything about it. The slow play. The course. The 17th hole. And the fact that it’s the purported Fifth Major — and the way Tim Finchem kept talking it up as if it were a real major. 

I had waited for years for Tiger to finally skip this tournament. In the past, he just couldn’t come up with a good enough excuse. But this year, he struck gold. The knee scope conveniently lets him off the hook. He’ll be laid up for 4-6 weeks and voila! See ya later, Sawgrass gator!

Don’t think for a second that Finchem didn’t consider this a big-time dis. So much so that he even issued a statement expressing his thinly veiled annoyance. Let’s face it, while Tiger is out, the only tournament of consequence that he’ll miss is the Players Championship. He might makes it back just in time for Jack’s tournament, the Memorial.

But Finchem and TPC only have themselves to blame. By shifting the tournament from March to May, they practically invited the top players to skip the tournament. Before, it was an important tuneup for the Masters, and all of the world’s top players obliged by showing up. Now, it’s just another tournament between the Masters and U.S. Open, never mind it does boast the riches purse on tour.

After Tiger won TPC in 2001, it completed his checklist. By then, he’d already won every big tournament on tour in addition to the majors, and from that point and on you know it’s only a matter of time that he’d skip it. He’s done that to the Mercedes Championship pretty much annually now. He’d even passed on the Tour Championship, before it reincarnated as the final tournament of the FedEx Cup “Playoff.” 

Skipping TPC this year was totally premeditated. He’d had the scope done no matter how he performed at the Masters. And by being out, he most definitely realized that he’d miss the Players. You can almost see the mischievous grin on his face when he cooked up this little scheme.

Because Tiger gets it. Nobody is ever going to remember how many Players he wins. The Fifth Major. Yeah. Do you remember who’s the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse?

Exactly.

 

The dream of a grand slam is still alive. And the world No. 1 is looking more dominant than ever.

We’re talking LPGA, of course.

While Tiger Woods must put off his “easily within reason” for another year, there’s no such concern for Lorena Ochoa. After lapping the field with an 11-stroke victory at the Corona Championship — appropriately played in her native Mexico — Ochoa also has locked up a place in the LPGA Hall of Fame.

While Woods and Roger Federer have dominated their respective sports — and headlines — in recent years, Ochoa is on a run that is arguably at least equal to theirs. In winning her fourth event out of five played this year, Ochoa has failed to break par exactly once in her 19 rounds.

She has won 21 times in just five-plus seasons on the LPGA Tour. Since the beginning of the 2006 season, she’s played in 55 tournaments, finished in the top 10 in 45 of them and won 18 — winning roughly one of every three tournaments she’s entered.

The only knock on Ochoa during her domination of women’s golf was her inability to win majors. Well, that criticism is muted now that she owns the trophies from the two most recent major championships.

And the way she’s playing, Ochoa will be the prohibitive favorite to win the other three majors of the season. In her four wins in 2008, she’s won by 11, 11, 7 and 5 strokes, respectively. Yes, the tournament is over usually by the time she gets to the first tee box in the final round. Heck, it’s practically over when she decides to enter it.

Yet, Ochoa constantly flies under the radar in terms of visibility. There’s a teenage girl who’s never won a tournament as a pro and recently shot more times in the 80s than 60s, yet she’s considered the “rising star” of the LPGA. Other talented young ladies such as Morgan Pressel and Paula Creamer have also cashed in their celebrity for commercial success. But on the golf course, they’re merely playing for the second-place check.

About the only way Ochoa will get the recognition she truly deserves is when she wins the grand slam. Yes, I said “when” not “if.” Even though golf is a fickle game, her recent performance foretells a dominance unseen in women’s golf. Not even in Annika Sorenstam’s best years.

And you get the sense Ochoa is OK with that. She’d rather let her club do the talking and her trophies do the showboating.

With apologies to Trevor Immelman, Sunday’s Masters finish was devoid of any dramatic development. There were a few train wrecks here and there, but overall, by the time the final group made the turn, Immelman’s victory seemed all but inevitable.

This was no knock on Immelman, who did everything right as a front runner to secure his first major victory. He held his nerves together down the stretch and played cautiously as a man with a five-stroke lead should.

Sunday’s high winds were the No. 1 culprit. With the swirling gusts everywhere at Augusta National, it became extremely difficult to hit precise shots. Only Miguel Angel Jimenez (68) and Heath Slocum (69) managed to break 70 and only two others broke par.

Among them was not Tiger Woods, whose balky putter cost him any real shot at a fifth green jacket. When he holed out a long birdie putt on the 18th hole, his quick swipe of hand basically said: “Now you go in. Where were you before, chump?”

The putts that didn’t go down on 13th, 15th and 16th will roil Tiger for a while. But in truth, it probably wouldn’t have made that much of a difference. Immelman was rock solid all day, with a singular mistake on No. 16 when he hit his tee shot into the water. He appeared to be immune to the pressure of the moment, getting through Amen Corner at even par and, with the exception of 16, coasted home from there.

If Woods was too far back to make a charge, the other challengers simply collapsed. Brandt Snedeker, playing in his first Masters as a pro, was shaky all day. Paul Casey was never a factor and Steve Flesch, after holding his own on the front nine, blew up following a water ball on No. 12. By shooting par, Woods moved from fifth to solo second.

It was Tiger’s second straight second-place finish at the Masters, where his green jacket drought now reaches three years — matching the longest in his career from 1998-2000. And he has to be wondering why he’s having trouble closing the deal on one of his two favorite golf courses in the world.

As for the winner, Immelman won’t care if his victory was drama-free. He became the only 20-something player currently holding a major title. Whether this catapults him into major stardom, it remains to be seen.

But this much we know for sure now:

There won’t be a grand slam winner this year. And because of that, the biggest storyline of the year will have to be shelved until we meet again in Augusta.

There is nothing in Trevor Immelman’s resume that suggests that he’s ready to don the green jacket. Let’s face it, despite his obvious talents, Immelman has done little to distinguish himself as a professional golfer. In his five years as a pro, he’s won just twice outside of his native South Africa — once on the PGA Tour.

But on Saturday, the supposed Moving Day, he further solidified his position as the leader at the Masters. The 28-year-old with a Hogan-like swing and seemingly steely nerves, now must be taken seriously as a front-runner. Playing under immense pressure in the Augusta twilight, he birdied three of his final six holes to finish the day at 11 under, two ahead of Brandt Snedeker — but more importantly, still six ahead of Tiger Woods.

Woods mounted a charge, and for a while, it looked as if he was right there at the end. When he walked off the 18th green after a 68 that put him at 5 under, he was merely three shots off the lead. But Immelman’s late birdie binge might have left him with an insurmountable deficit with just 18 holes to play.

In retrospect, Saturday was a lost opportunity for Woods. He missed all sorts of makeable birdie putts that might have helped him to card a 65. While he easily eclipsed Phil Mickelson, who self-immolated with a 75, Woods must not have envisioned that he’d still be stuck in Immelman’s vapor trail.

Few would have. Immelman’s played eight events this year and failed to make the cut in half of them. His best finish in a stroke-play event was a T-40 at Doral. In his previous five appearances in the Masters, he’s broken 70 once — when he finished fifth but a distant eight shots back behind Woods and playoff loser Chris DiMarco in 2005.

But he’s shot in the 60s in all three rounds this tournament and done it with poise. He’s made two bogeys in 54 holes and none in the back nine. Immelman really seems to be enjoying himself strolling around Augusta National this week.

Come Sunday, it will be a matter of controlling his nerves. He’ll have the benefit of being paired with Snedeker again instead of a big-name contender. Woods will be cushioned by another group of relative no-names of Steve Flesch and Paul Casey, so Tiger won’t have the chance slam-dunking him in the group immediately ahead. Finally, with the forecast calling for winds gusting up to 20 miles per hour, going low will be difficult — even for Tiger.

Does this mean that Immelman will become the second South African to win the Masters, a feat that has eluded his more celebrated countrymen Ernie Els and Retief Goosen? Not necessarily. But barring a collapse of Greg Norman proportions, the green jacket is well within his grasp.

 

Well, you know who “he” is, right?

After hitting a dramatic approach shot to 1 foot on 17 and a miraculous up-and-down off the 10th fairway on 18, Tiger Woods is very much in the hunt for a fifth green jacket. And his task is not nearly as daunting as the 7-shot deficit may seem. 

Woods might be trailing Trevor Immelman by 7 shots, but the real number he’s looking at is 4, that’s how much he’s behind Phil Mickelson, the player that has the most ability to hold off a charge by Tiger. Yes, I stand by my original assessment that this Masters is still a two-man game.

While Immelman is quite talented and played flawlessly for two days, his game is just not mature enough to withstand four rounds of rigorous test at Augusta National. And with weather turning more vicious — high winds are predicted for the weekend — it’s difficult to see anyone who’s not a seasoned former major champion running away with the victory.

There are other challengers besides Mickelson near the top of the leaderboard: Mike Weir, Retief Goosen, Jim Furyk and Vijay Singh. But I really don’t see any other scenario besides a Sunday showdown between Woods and Mickelson, owners of six green jackets between them.

Mickelson’s task is staying patient and maintaining his 4-shot bulge on Tiger. On Saturday, he can afford to play conservatively. He doesn’t have to do too much to reel in the leaders. After all, only Immelman and Brandt Snedeker are ahead of him and they’ll probably give up the lead before the turn. Lefty, however, cannot get out of his game plan just because what Tiger is doing a few holes in front of him.

That, in turn, will be Woods’ strategy. Teeing off more than an hour before Mickelson and the leaders, Tiger will aim to go low and post a few birdies as soon as possible. When he does that he’s sure to incite panic, forcing the players in front of him to make costly mistakes. Depending on the weather, he might even have more benign conditions to play with, allowing him to play more aggressively.

Tiger’s goal is to get into the final few groups on Sunday, and with a few breaks, perhaps the last group. While he’s never won a major in which he wasn’t at least the co-leader after the third round, don’t you get a sense that he’s pretty tired of that, too?

There’s a first time for everything. 

In the dim fading light at Augusta National, a couple of groups hustled around the last two holes, trying to finish the round before total darkness. They were hardly no-names: Ernie Els, Jim Furyk, Lee Westwood, Aaron Baddeley among them.

They were scrambling because Thursday’s first round got off to a late start. Heavy morning mist prevented the Masters to start on time, pushing everyone’s tee time back by an hour. As a result, the final few groups were racing the setting sun to the finish, wishing to avoid showing up early Friday morning.

But that tactic proved costly for the final threesomes. Each of the players in the last two groups made at least a bogey on the final two holes. Westwood fell out of the lead with a three-putt bogey on 17 and had to make a knee-knocker 4-footer on 18 for par.

The light you saw on TV was greatly enhanced by the camera lenses. In actuality, when Westwood struck that putt for the last shot of the day, it was near total darkness at Augusta National. When the sun ducks behind the tall Georgia pines ringing the course, it becomes exceptionally difficult to see and renders reading putts a mere guessing game.

The players should’ve made a better decision, playing more deliberately and taking more time, forcing the tournament to suspend play. But the competition committee should’ve ended the day earlier anyway to ensure fair play. Let’s face it, had Tiger Woods been in the penultimate group — as he would be on Friday — there is no way he’d trade a single stroke just to avoid getting up early the next day.

One of my golf writer pals blamed it on Johnson Wagner. If it weren’t for his last-minute inclusion by winning the Shell Houston Open, then there’d be one fewer group.

Good for a laugh. But not on the money. The fault lies with the 20 or so former champions in the field, many of them really have no business being there. They make the field bigger and unwieldy; and a lot of times their slow play forces the rounds to go longer.

But if they have to be there, as Gary Player is playing in a record 51st Masters, then always make them play in the final few groups where they’ll least affect the actual competition. At the end of the day, nobody really cares what Player, Fuzzy Zoeller and Ray Floyd shot.

And if they have to get up early or finish in the dark, hey, they can make that call. Just don’t let these guys decide who wins the tournament. 

Wednesday during Masters week is flat-out the best day in golf, among the days where no shot is struck in anger. 

Back when I covered the Masters, I always looked forward to Wednesday with glee. Yes, there’s the Par-3 Contest, which for the first time is seen on television live. But the highlight of the day was always the Chairman’s press conference. 

The Chairman, in those days, was the irrepressible Hootie Johnson. Embellished by his thick Southern drawl, Hootie always had something to say. There were many battles to be fought, and Hootie backed down from none of them. Whether it’s dis-inviting former champions who were past their prime for competition, or verbal jousting with Martha Burk, Hootie was never lost for words. 

That was in the morning. The afternoon belonged to the Par-3 Contest. Played on Augusta National’s wondrously conceived 9-hole course, Par-3 is where men can freely behave like boys and boys (and girls) are allowed to have the run of the place. While the Masters is arguably the most revered golf tournament that’s always treated with reverence, Par-3 is where you can let your guard down before the real serious stuff starts. 

The Par-3 course was Clifford Roberts’ baby. The co-founder of Augusta National personally designed the course with the help of George Cobb in 1958. Two years later, the first Par-3 Contest was held. Roberts made a point to “close” the big course at 2:30 in the afternoon on Wednesday, compelling everyone to head out to the 9 holes ringed around two lakes. 

For many spectators, who are unable to get the badge to tournament days, this is as good as it gets. You can sit up close to many tee boxes and greens and watch the best pros pull off amazing and tricky shots, with the obligatory skipper balls across the ponds. The players often have their kids, wives and buddies tote the bags, sometimes even let them try a few putts. 

But the serious challengers for the green jacket know there’s one thing you do not mess with: No Par-3 winner has ever won the Masters the same year. It’s such a well-known jinx that some players even intentionally drown a couple of balls on the ninth hole just to avoid the honor. 

Well, now we know who won’t win the Masters in 2008: Rory Sabbatini.

Let’s see, Tiger Woods tees it up at 10:45 on Thursday. By the time you turn on the tele at 4 p.m. for ESPN’s coverage, Woods will be beating balls on the Augusta National range, trying to correct whatever he doesn’t like during his round. And you’ll find out what those “problems” are in the highlights.

But that’s not to say there isn’t anything to watch live. By design, Thursday’s afternoon rounds are populated by Woods’ chief challengers: Phil Mickelson tees off at 1:41 p.m. He’s preceded by 2000 champion Vijay Singh at 1:30 p.m. and followed by Ernie Els at 1:52 p.m. Another formidable group that includes Retief Goosen and Adam Scott, tees off at 1:19 p.m.

On Friday, of course, the tee times are flipped, with Tiger hogging all the live airtime at 1:52 p.m., in the penultimate group. Woods is paired with defending U.S. Open champion Angel Cabrera and Stuart Appleby, who was the 54-hole leader at the Masters last year.

Even though it won’t be on TV live, Woods’ first-round score will be key in his quest to win the year’s first major and his fifth green jacket. Tiger has played in 11 Masters as a professional and he’s NEVER broken 70 in the first round. But 70 is the magic number. The three times he did shoot 70 in the first round (1997, 2001 and 2002), he went on to win the tournament.

While the Masters has relaxed its previously draconian TV policies over the past decade, it still follows a less-is-more concept — to good effect. While weekday coverage has changed hands from USA to ESPN, the live coverage time slot from 4 to 7 p.m. remains the same (with replay from 8 to 11 p.m.). CBS takes over on the weekend, starting at 3:30 p.m. Saturday and 2:30 p.m. Sunday.

But the truly revolutionary change this year, in terms of TV coverage, is the live airing of the Par-3 Contest on Wednesday. For millions of viewers who never stepped inside Augusta National’s gates, this will be their first glimpse at the fabulous 9-hole course. ESPN will have it on live from 3 to 5 p.m.

Augusta National is where golf season begins, every year.

Sure, players tee it up at the Mercedes Championship in the first week of January, and every week since. But truly, the golf season does not start until the Masters. Consider all the stuff that happens before this week mere warmups — the preseason, if you will.

On Thursday, 94 players will compete for the green jacket and the honor of winning the year’s first — and most prestigious — major championship. But in reality, only two players have a legitimate chance of winning the Masters.

The odds-on favorite, of course, is Tiger Woods, winner of four previous Masters and 13 major championships. A victory by Tiger will fuel so much talk about a calendar-year grand slam that it will become the all-consuming golf story for at least the next two months.

Phil Mickelson is the only one who’s capable of putting that scenario to a swift end. While Lefty has been his mercurial self in the first eight tournaments he’s played — with a win and a playoff loss and also a missed cut — his game is the only one good enough to give Woods a serious challenge. With Tiger performing at his optimum level, no one else even has a chance.

But they’ll all show up anyway. And why not. As a professional golfer, getting into the Masters itself is quite a reward in itself.

Just ask Johnson Wagner.